just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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