yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I understand Curling. That high.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize