Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
