Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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