My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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