Clothes are such an inconvenience.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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