its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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