worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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