I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize