haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
