Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
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