Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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