# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
