it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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