Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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