wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
