i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
