UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
