Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
