This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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