I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
