Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
