Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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