I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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