I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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