Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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