Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
