if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
