Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize