So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize