Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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