Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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