we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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