come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Randomize
