u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
did you just send me my own nude
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