Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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