He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
