I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
