no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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