I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
