okay pat passed out under dana's car
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
