she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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