hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
