After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
