Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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