you guys were way drunker than both of me
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
