just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize