I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
