it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Is it because I queefed?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
