i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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