Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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