U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
