I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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