Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
