No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
