Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize