Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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