U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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