her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
