Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
never play flip cup with pint glasses
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
