I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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