Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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