Your tits are I can't wait for
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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