like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
