she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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