i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
