Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
