i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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