Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
