i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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