All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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