We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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