just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
His hands were made for my vagina.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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