If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
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