Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
