Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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