just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
