So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
