don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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