I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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